I JUST CALL IT HOME
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Monday, February 27, 2012
An Irish Family Tradition
Paddy, had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ....and nearly drowned!
Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother.
'Grandma,' he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said, "Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in August, ya fecking eedjut!
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday.
On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick, took a boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ....and nearly drowned!
Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Paddy, went to see his grandmother.
'Grandma,' he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said, "Because your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in January, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in August, ya fecking eedjut!
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
The Mayonnaise Jar
The Mayonnaise Jar
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24 hours in a day is not enough;
remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and started to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again
if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand
and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions
Things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car..
The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
important to you.
So...
Pay attentionto the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time
to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.
'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'
When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,
When 24 hours in a day is not enough;
remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.
A professor stood before his philosophy class
and had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
and started to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
it into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.
He then asked the students again
if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand
and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous 'yes.'
The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table
and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively
filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.
'Now,' said the professor, as the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life.
The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions
Things that if everything else was lost
and only they remained, your life would still be full.
The pebbles are the things that matter like your job, house, and car..
The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.
'If you put the sand into the jar first,' he continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life.
If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
important to you.
So...
Pay attentionto the things that are critical to your happiness.
Play with your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.
There will always be time
to clean the house and fix the dripping tap.
'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'
One of the students raised her hand
and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.
It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Monday, February 20, 2012
1895 8th grade final exam......
Take this test and pass it on to your more literate friends.
What it took to get an 8th grade education in 1895...
Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education?
Well, check this out.
Could any of us have passed
the 8th grade in 1895?
This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895
in Salina , Kansas, USA.
It was taken from the original document
on file at the Smokey Valley
Genealogical Society and Library
in Salina, and reprinted by the Salina Journal.
8th Grade Final Exam:
Salina, KS - 1895
Grammar (Time, one hour)......
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph.
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of 'lie,' 'play,' and 'run'.
5. Define case; illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use
of the rules of grammar.
Arithmetic (Time, 1 hour 15 minutes)
1. Name and define the Fundamental
Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. Deep, 10 feet Long, and 3 ft. Wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs, what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs for tare?
4. District No. 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. Coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent per annum.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft long at $20 per metre?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note,
and a Receipt.
U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S.. History is divided.
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.
Orthography (Time, one hour)
(Do we even know what this is???)
1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication?
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals?
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'.
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling.
Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use
in connection with a word:....
bi, dis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables
the following, and name the sign
that indicates the sound:.....
card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences:.....
cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein,
raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced
and indicate pronunciation by use of
diacritical marks and by syllabication.
Geography (Time, one hour)......
1. What is climate?
Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes
of climate in Kansas?
3. Of what use are rivers?
Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America.
5. Name and describe the following:
Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S. Name all the republics of Europe and
give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific
in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth.
Give the inclination of the earth.
HUH???
Are they kidding???
This is hard to believe....
Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS
to complete.......
Gives the saying, 'he only had an 8th grade education' a whole new meaning,
doesn't it?!
Also shows you how poor our education system has become and, NO, .........
I don't have the answers! (and I couldn't answer most of them, myself, either.)
What it took to get an 8th grade education in 1895...
Remember when grandparents and great-grandparents stated that they only had an 8th grade education?
Well, check this out.
Could any of us have passed
the 8th grade in 1895?
This is the eighth-grade final exam from 1895
in Salina , Kansas, USA.
It was taken from the original document
on file at the Smokey Valley
Genealogical Society and Library
in Salina, and reprinted by the Salina Journal.
8th Grade Final Exam:
Salina, KS - 1895
Grammar (Time, one hour)......
1. Give nine rules for the use of capital letters.
2. Name the parts of speech and define those that have no modifications
3. Define verse, stanza and paragraph.
4. What are the principal parts of a verb? Give principal parts of 'lie,' 'play,' and 'run'.
5. Define case; illustrate each case.
6 What is punctuation? Give rules for principal marks of punctuation.
7 - 10. Write a composition of about 150 words and show therein that you understand the practical use
of the rules of grammar.
Arithmetic (Time, 1 hour 15 minutes)
1. Name and define the Fundamental
Rules of Arithmetic.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft. Deep, 10 feet Long, and 3 ft. Wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3,942 lbs, what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1,050 lbs for tare?
4. District No. 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for incidentals?
5. Find the cost of 6,720 lbs. Coal at $6.00 per ton.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent per annum.
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft long at $20 per metre?
8. Find bank discount on $300 for 90 days (no grace) at 10 percent.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance of which is 640 rods?
10. Write a Bank Check, a Promissory Note,
and a Receipt.
U.S. History (Time, 45 minutes)
1. Give the epochs into which U.S.. History is divided.
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
3. Relate the causes and results of the Revolutionary War.
4. Show the territorial growth of the United States.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
6. Describe three of the most prominent battles of the Rebellion.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton, Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
8. Name events connected with the following dates: 1607, 1620, 1800, 1849, 1865.
Orthography (Time, one hour)
(Do we even know what this is???)
1. What is meant by the following: alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication?
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: trigraph, subvocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals?
4. Give four substitutes for caret 'u'.
5. Give two rules for spelling words with final 'e.' Name two exceptions under each rule.
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling.
Illustrate each.
7. Define the following prefixes and use
in connection with a word:....
bi, dis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup.
8. Mark diacritically and divide into syllables
the following, and name the sign
that indicates the sound:.....
card, ball, mercy, sir, odd, cell, rise, blood, fare, last.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences:.....
cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein,
raze, raise, rays.
10. Write 10 words frequently mispronounced
and indicate pronunciation by use of
diacritical marks and by syllabication.
Geography (Time, one hour)......
1. What is climate?
Upon what does climate depend?
2. How do you account for the extremes
of climate in Kansas?
3. Of what use are rivers?
Of what use is the ocean?
4. Describe the mountains of North America.
5. Name and describe the following:
Monrovia, Odessa, Denver, Manitoba, Hecla, Yukon, St. Helena, Juan Fernandez, Aspinwall and Orinoco.
6. Name and locate the principal trade centers of the U.S. Name all the republics of Europe and
give the capital of each.
8. Why is the Atlantic Coast colder than the Pacific
in the same latitude?
9. Describe the process by which the water of the ocean returns to the sources of rivers.
10. Describe the movements of the earth.
Give the inclination of the earth.
HUH???
Are they kidding???
This is hard to believe....
Notice that the exam took FIVE HOURS
to complete.......
Gives the saying, 'he only had an 8th grade education' a whole new meaning,
doesn't it?!
Also shows you how poor our education system has become and, NO, .........
I don't have the answers! (and I couldn't answer most of them, myself, either.)
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Saturday, February 18, 2012
101 years old driving an 81 year old car
Wow ....SWEET GRANNY ... Motoring at 101 yrs. old ... In Her SWEET 1930 PACKARD CAR ...
Subject: 101 years old driving an 81 year old car.
101 years old driving an 81 year old car
This is priceless. Notice at the very end when she steps on a little
red towel to get into the car so she won't dirty the running board,
then picks it up and puts it in the car so she can use it when she gets
out! Precious lady!!
An amazing lady, 101 years old driving an 81 year old car
and changes the oil and spark plugs herself! This is a hoot!
http://graphics8.nytimes.com/bcvideo/1.0/iframe/embed.html?videoId=100000000895665&playerType=embed
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Monday, February 13, 2012
Just A Thought
Sissy thanks for the comments most of what you see on my site is cut an pasted,but I find it interesting.Since I use the two finger system of typing an my spelling is terrible,I try to us the least amount of words.
You will find Dizzy's site interesting.
You will find Dizzy's site interesting.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Worth the watch
Watch what this girl does with the shark near the end
The first part of this just looks like an awesome screen saver, but watch it & see what this girl does to that
one shark near the end ......
Cut and paste the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=WK2LpUoqX6A&vq=medium
This is amazing.
The first part of this just looks like an awesome screen saver, but watch it & see what this girl does to that
one shark near the end ......
Cut and paste the link.
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=WK2LpUoqX6A&vq=medium
This is amazing.
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
WALK WITH ME BY THE WATER
Aged and slow are the steps I take,
to the lake where the water flows free.
Humbled am I, by the quiet beauty,
that God has blessed and given me.
Through the years I will remember
the goodness of my life, not the bad.
It takes only the peace of the water
to appreciate the love that I've had.
There is this miracle of the water,
that makes our lives worth the while.
These memories will live on forever,
and bring with them, surely a smile.
Come walk with me by the water,
hold me and make my life shine.
We are given the gift of the moment.
it was never to be simply mine.
.
Aged and slow are the steps I take,
to the lake where the water flows free.
Humbled am I, by the quiet beauty,
that God has blessed and given me.
Countrymom
to the lake where the water flows free.
Humbled am I, by the quiet beauty,
that God has blessed and given me.
Through the years I will remember
the goodness of my life, not the bad.
It takes only the peace of the water
to appreciate the love that I've had.
There is this miracle of the water,
that makes our lives worth the while.
These memories will live on forever,
and bring with them, surely a smile.
Come walk with me by the water,
hold me and make my life shine.
We are given the gift of the moment.
it was never to be simply mine.
.
Aged and slow are the steps I take,
to the lake where the water flows free.
Humbled am I, by the quiet beauty,
that God has blessed and given me.
Countrymom
Just A Thought
Walk With Me by the Water
well worth the read...
A BEAUTIFUL POEM ABOUT GROWING OLDER:
Shoot.
I forgot the words.
well worth the read...
A BEAUTIFUL POEM ABOUT GROWING OLDER:
Shoot.
I forgot the words.
Saturday, February 4, 2012
PARAPROSDOKIANS
(Winston Churchill loved them.)
Here is the definition:
"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or
phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous
situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of
paraprosdokian.
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his
level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on
my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not
putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and
then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from
many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is
where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted
paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says,
'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall
of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a
parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier
to live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone
down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call
whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Where there's a will, there's relatives.
Here is the definition:
"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or
phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous
situation." "Where there's a will, I want to be in it," is a type of
paraprosdokian.
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his
level and beat you with experience.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on
my list.
3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people
appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left..
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not
putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and
then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from
many is research.
10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is
where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted
paychecks.
12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says,
'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'
13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are
sexy.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall
of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.
17. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a
parachute to skydive twice.
18. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier
to live with.
19. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone
down so they can't get away.
20. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.
21. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
22. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call
whatever you hit the target.
23. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
24. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
25. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than
standing in a garage makes you a car.
26. Where there's a will, there's relatives.
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