Saturday, December 3, 2011

: Epitaths

FOUND ON REAL HEADSTONES



Harry Edsel Smith of Albany, New York:

Born 1903-Died 1942

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the

car was on the way down. It was.



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In a Thurmont, Maryland, cemetery:



Here lies an Atheist

All dressed up

And no place to go.



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In a London, England cemetery:



Here lies Ann Mann,

Who lived an old maid

But died an old Mann.

Dec. 8, ! 1767



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In a Ribbesford, England, cemetery:



Anna Wallace:

The children of Israel wanted bread,

And the Lord sent them manna.

Old clerk Wallace wanted a wife,

And the Devil sent him Anna.



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In a Ruidoso, New Mexico, cemetery:



Here lies Johnny Yeast.

Pardon me

For not rising.



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In a Uniontown, Pennsylvania, cemetery:



Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake.

Stepped on the gas

Instead of the brake



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In a Silver City, Nevada, cemetery:



Here lays The Kid.

We planted him raw.

He was quick on the trigger

But slow on the draw.



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A lawyer's epitaph in England:



Sir John Strange.

Here lies an honest lawyer,

And that is Strange.



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John Penny's epitaph in Wimborne, England, cemetery:



Reader, if cash thou art

In want of any,

Dig 6 feet deep;

And thou wilt find a Penny.



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Hartscombe, England:



On the 22nd of June,

Jonathan Fiddle

Went out of tune.



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Anna Hopewell's grave in Enosburg Falls,Vermont



Here lies the body of our Anna -

Done to death by a banana.

It wasn't the fruit that laid her low,

But the skin of the thing that made her go.



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On a grave from the 1880s in Nantucket, Massachusetts:



Under the sod and under the trees,

Lies the body of Jonathan Pease.

He is not here, there's only the pod.

Pease shelled out and went to God



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In a cemetery in England:



Remember man, as you walk by,

As you are now, so once was I.

As I am now, you soon will be.

Prepare yourself and follow me.



To which someone replied by writing on the tombstone:



To follow you I'll not consent

Until I know which way you went



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Boot Hill, Tombstone, Arizona:

Here lies Lester Moore

One slug from a 44

No Les

No Moore